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By the way, thanks. I know you played me to get me to be on your side. I know it’s an act. I know this isn’t really you. And you know what? It doesn’t make you “cool.” It doesn’t help you at all. You find people like me who give a shit, and you don’t even realize that you’re just manipulating us. Sure you have problems. Valid, yes. I’d be happy to help you with that. But self-injury and suicide threats? That is NOT A JOKE. EVER. And by pretending that’s really who you are is an insult to everyone who legitimately has to live their lives like that because they know no other way.

And for anyone out there, if this applies to you too, just tell me. I don’t care if you just want the attention. This shit isn’t fair. If you act like that, there’s clearly more going on than a happy-go-lucky person, but don’t think you know everything. I’d be happy to help you through your problems, but you have to take mine seriously too. If you need to get out of this, let me help you. Please. Not just for you, but for people like me.

200 things in my ask.

  • 200:

    My crushs name is: Nikolas

  • 199:

    I was born in: Ohio

  • 198:

    I am really: determined

  • 197:

    My cellphone company is: AT&T

  • 196:

    My eye color is: brown

  • 195:

    My shoe size is: 7.5

  • 194:

    My ring size is: 6

  • 193:

    My height is: 5' 3"

  • 192:

    I am allergic to: animals, hay, plants, etc.

  • 191:

    My 1st car was: Honda Pilot

  • 190:

    My 1st job was: Babysitting

  • 189:

    Last book you read: Slaughterhouse Five <3

  • 188:

    My bed is: awesome

  • 187:

    My pet: makes me sneeze (she's a guinea pig)

  • 186:

    My best friend: is 42.

  • 185:

    My favorite shampoo is: all-natural rosemary mint Suave

  • 184:

    Xbox or ps3: neither. I'm gaming technology impaired (except gamecube)

  • 183:

    Piggy banks are: the bomb.

  • 182:

    In my pockets: writing utensil, one dollar, and a vitamin C drop

  • 181:

    On my calendar: ambulance runs at 6pm

  • 180:

    Marriage is: happiness.

  • 179:

    Spongebob can: go die.

  • 178:

    My mom: is silly.

  • 177:

    The last three songs I bought were? The Well, I Saw Her Standing There, & Misery

  • 176:

    Last YouTube video watched: Assassin's Creed (PC) - Gameplay Tutorial

  • 175:

    How many cousins do you have? Nine

  • 174:

    Do you have any siblings? A brother & stepbrother

  • 173:

    Are your parents divorced? Yes

  • 172:

    Are you taller than your mom? No

  • 171:

    Do you play an instrument? Twelve, actually.

  • 170:

    What did you do yesterday? Stood in the rain.

  • [ I Believe In ]

  • 169:

    Love at first sight: In a way.

  • 168:

    Luck: No.

  • 167:

    Fate: Not as this implies.

  • 166:

    Yourself: Yes.

  • 165:

    Aliens: Not currently, but I had at one point.

  • 164:

    Heaven: Yes.

  • 163:

    Hell: Good question.

  • 162:

    God: Yes.

  • 161:

    Horoscopes: No.

  • 160:

    Soul mates: Eh.

  • 159:

    Ghosts: No.

  • 158:

    Gay Marriage: Seriously? Gay marriage is not a problem! AT ALL!

  • 157:

    War: Never

  • 156:

    Orbs: No.

  • 155:

    Magic: No.

  • [ This or That ]

  • 154:

    Hugs or Kisses: Kisses.

  • 153:

    Drunk or High: High.

  • 152:

    Phone or Online: Online.

  • 151:

    Red heads or Black haired: Black haired.

  • 150:

    Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes.

  • 149:

    Hot or cold: Cold.

  • 148:

    Summer or winter: Summer.

  • 147:

    Autumn or Spring: Autumn.

  • 146:

    Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.

  • 145:

    Night or Day: Day.

  • 144:

    Oranges or Apples: Apples.

  • 143:

    Curly or Straight hair: Straight.

  • 142:

    McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds.

  • 141:

    White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate.

  • 140:

    Mac or PC: MAC

  • 139:

    Flip flops or high heals: flip flops.

  • 138:

    Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor.

  • 137:

    Coke or Pepsi: coke.

  • 136:

    Hillary or Obama: Obama.

  • 135:

    Burried or cremated: cremated.

  • 134:

    Singing or Dancing: Singing.

  • 133:

    Coach or Chanel: (took me a second to figure out what this meant.) Coach.

  • 132:

    Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ?

  • 131:

    Small town or Big city: Small town.

  • 130:

    Wal-Mart or Target: Target.

  • 129:

    Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller.

  • 128:

    Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure.

  • 127:

    East Coast or West Coast: East Coast.

  • 126:

    Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas.

  • 125:

    Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers.

  • 124:

    Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags.

  • 123:

    Yankees or Red Sox: Yankees.

  • [ Here's What I Think About ]

  • 122:

    War: should NEVER happen

  • 121:

    George Bush: don't like him.

  • 120:

    Gay Marriage: just as normal as any other marriage.

  • 119:

    The presidential election: angry with the overwhelming two-party monopoly

  • 118:

    Abortion: It's a choice.

  • 117:

    MySpace: Stupid.

  • 116:

    Reality TV: Stupider.

  • 115:

    Parents: Might not always like them, but you need them.

  • 114:

    Back stabbers: Get out.

  • 113:

    Ebay: No thoughts.

  • 112:

    Facebook: Stupid.

  • 111:

    Work: Good. Satisfying.

  • 110:

    My Neighbors: Wonderful.

  • 109:

    Gas Prices: Annoying.

  • 108:

    Designer Clothes: Overrated.

  • 107:

    College: can't wait to get there.

  • 106:

    Sports: no football

  • 105:

    My family: wacko

  • 104:

    The future: has the potential to be dismal or bright

  • [ Last time I ]

  • 103:

    Hugged someone: yesterday

  • 102:

    Last time you ate: 9pm yesterday

  • 101:

    Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: yesterday

  • 100:

    Cried in front of someone: Monday

  • 99:

    Went to a movie theater: Two weeks ago

  • 98:

    Took a vacation: January

  • 97:

    Swam in a pool: April 22nd

  • 96:

    Changed a diaper: Last summer

  • 95:

    Got my nails done: Don't remember.

  • 94:

    Went to a wedding: April 21st

  • 93:

    Broke a bone: first grade

  • 92:

    Got a peircing: 2009

  • 91:

    Broke the law: good question. probably not this morning.

  • 90:

    Texted: hour ago

  • [ MISC ]

  • 89:

    Who makes you laugh the most: Peter

  • 88:

    Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Peter

  • 87:

    The last movie I saw: Breaking Glass

  • 86:

    The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: Moving out.

  • 85:

    The thing im not looking forward to: Leaving Peter.

  • 84:

    People call me: Sandstorm or Maus.

  • 83:

    The most difficult thing to do is: believe in yourself.

  • 82:

    I have gotten a speeding ticket: False.

  • 81:

    My zodiac sign is: Libra.

  • 80:

    The first person i talked to today was: My mom.

  • 79:

    First time you had a crush: 7th grade.

  • 78:

    The one person who i can't hide things from: Shelly.

  • 77:

    Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday.

  • 76:

    Right now I am talking to: Myself.

  • 75:

    What are you going to do when you grow up: Work in a hospital. Have a house. Be awesome.

  • 74:

    I have/will get a job: Will soon.

  • 73:

    Tomorrow: I'm going to therapy.

  • 72:

    Today: I'm running with EMTs.

  • 71:

    Next Summer: I'm going away with my aunt.

  • 70:

    Next Weekend: I'll be in SC.

  • 69:

    I have these pets: a guinea pig. and a boy (who is easily bribed)

  • 68:

    The worst sound in the world: screeching microphones

  • 67:

    The person that makes me cry the most is: anonymous

  • 66:

    People that make you happy: Mike.

  • 65:

    Last time I cried: Last night

  • 64:

    My friends are: nonexistent.

  • 63:

    My computer is: an old MacBook (and it's better than yours)

  • 62:

    My School: is awesome.

  • 61:

    My Car: is really my mom's.

  • 60:

    I lose all respect for people who: abuse others.

  • 59:

    The movie I cried at was: The Avengers.

  • 58:

    Your hair color is: brown

  • 57:

    TV shows you watch: Numb3rs, Bones

  • 56:

    Favorite web site: xkcd.com

  • 55:

    Your dream vacation: German immersion.

  • 54:

    The worst pain I was ever in was: when my mom was in surgery.

  • 53:

    How do you like your steak cooked: medium.

  • 52:

    My room is: purple.

  • 51:

    My favorite celebrity is: John Lennon

  • 50:

    Where would you like to be: Rochester

  • 49:

    Do you want children: Not right now.

  • 48:

    Ever been in love: Yes.

  • 47:

    Who's your best friend: Shelly

  • 46:

    More guy friends or girl friends: equal.

  • 45:

    One thing that makes you feel great is: learning.

  • 44:

    One person that you wish you could see right now: grandpa

  • 43:

    Do you have a 5 year plan: yes

  • 42:

    Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

  • 41:

    Have you pre-named your children: considered it, but not actually

  • 40:

    Last person I got mad at: CVS pharmacist

  • 39:

    I would like to move to: Upstate NY

  • 38:

    I wish I was a professional: pharmacist

  • [ My Favorites ]

  • 37:

    Candy: Marzipan

  • 36:

    Vehicle: Honda Pilot

  • 35:

    President: Eisenhower

  • 34:

    State visited: Washington

  • 33:

    Cellphone provider: AT&T

  • 32:

    Athlete: Miguel Tejada

  • 31:

    Actor: David Boreanaz, David Krumholtz

  • 30:

    Actress: Emily Deschanel

  • 29:

    Singer: Jason Wilber

  • 28:

    Band: The Beatles

  • 27:

    Clothing store: Anthropologie (not that I've ever bought anything from it)

  • 26:

    Grocery store: Kimberton Whole Foods.

  • 25:

    TV show: Numb3rs & Bones

  • 24:

    Movie: Lola Rennt (Run Lola Run)

  • 23:

    Website: xkcd.com and tumblr.com

  • 22:

    Animal: Schrödinger's Cat

  • 21:

    Theme park: Universal Studios

  • 20:

    Holiday: Easter

  • 19:

    Sport to watch: Baseball

  • 18:

    Sport to play: Hockey

  • 17:

    Magazine: The Economist or TIME

  • 16:

    Book: Slaughterhouse Five

  • 15:

    Day of the week: Friday

  • 14:

    Beach: Presque Isle (Erie, PA)

  • 13:

    Concert attended: Ithacappella

  • 12:

    Thing to cook: Pasta

  • 11:

    Food: Potato Latkes

  • 10:

    Restaurant: Kooma

  • 9:

    Radio station: B101

  • 8:

    Yankee candle scent: Coastal Water

  • 7:

    Perfume: Clinique Happy

  • 6:

    Flower: Rose

  • 5:

    Color: Blue

  • 4:

    Talk show host: Oprah

  • 3:

    Comedian: Dmitri Martin

  • 2:

    Dog breed: Dacshund

  • 1:

    did you answer all these truthfully ? Yes

My blogging is not for the purpose of glorifying or encouraging self harm, eating and other mental disorders, depression, and suicide. My point is that there are people out there like this. They are not alone and they have a safe place to think and post anything they need to. They need support - and I will give that to anyone. The first step towards progress is awareness. Silent diseases are deadly, too.

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